Sunday, February 13, 2011

Things that go bump in the night. Rated,I hope you're grown. :D

They say once you go black,you never go back. Wonder what else that applies to? In accordance to manly preferences,once you go stacked,you never go flat/back? And for the ladies,once you go...batt? I speak not of Christian Bale. (I don't ever do that,except to bemoan and bitch about his terrible portrayal of a legacy. Sigh. SMH,Christian. S. M. H.)

@queenmoraa thought it would be funny to get a friend of mine (who will remain unnamed because she's into sijui hiding her identity sijui oh I already make her look bad in public. We'll call her V...for obvious reasons. Which you will see...) a little friend: a vibrator. ( This is,according to @theekimutai,probably one of the greatest competitors for The Quest to Render the Male Species Irrelevant and therefore create an Amazon Women Race. Ok,maybe not in those words exactly. Anyway. So we examined it one day. It's big. And purple. (even with those the world-wide obsession with the colour purple has not been left behind) And has settings on it that make multi-tasking look like a walk in the park. A small park. With ice-cream every 5 metres and Louis Armstrong playing in the background. Ie Disney. :D

My niece at some point gave V gold Magnum condoms. Just because sharing is caring. She put them in her underwear drawer,along with her new can-never-be-described-as-little friend. To cut a long (HAHA!) story short, her mom found it.


*enter wailing and gnashing of teeth* the SHAME! The MORTIFICATION!! As IN??? What the hell are you supposed to do when your MOTHER finds your (large) toys?? (Maybe @Reumac can answer that) How do you even continue to coexist without spontaneous combustion occurring every time she looks at you? Maybe I'm just thinking about how MY mom'd react. *shiver* Hers,checked out the toy,and waited for her to get home. Then took her to the The Council of The Aunties for a good talking-to.

Apparently vibrators ruin you for anyone else. After seeing that one,I can believe it. Or? Are they like porn,where the real thing is always better? Will V ever find good loving and/or her dignity again? *runs and hides...then comes back because the post isn't over* Can they please,for the love of...V, :D get someone else to do Batman? Do your chain hang low?


Ps. My band'll be performing at a gig on the 26th. Stay tuned for more details. I wanna throw in another V joke here,but I'm out. Sigh. :D I LOVE YOU,V! :D


  1. Uuuum *excuse me while I choke to death with laughter*. Are you serious?! What kind of suicide gift is that?! Surely?! Only in your own house....

  2. My mum found 'something' stashed in my wardrobe and proceeded to make fun of me about it in front of my aunties for AGES!!


  3. hehe if i was her,, i'd pack my meager clothing and just disappear, when they find me, they'd already forgotten about it

  4. I just gone a minor panic attack reading this. shit!!Now I remember why owning one of those has never been an option...NMW!

  5. Akel, hahaha... ati *runs and hides...then comes back again...* you should comb your hair after that post!

  6. Out of curiosity, did mum keep the "Purple Wonder" or how did she dispose of it? Certainly not with the trash!!

  7. OMG I love it!! Not the purple not-small-friend gooosh!

    You should try it...did you try it?! OMG You tried it was it?

  8. I DID NO SUCH THING, NIGEL. Why use the fake. :D

    The mom let her keep it, Pussy. :D

    Comb my hair, cereal? What's that? :D

    Pitzevans, I know right?

    Abba, THERE'S A REASON!!! Lol.

    ChilliMango....*suppressing laughter* *not succeeding* bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

    Miki,you never go red. :D

    BWTB, word............DM............. :D

  9. Better a dildo than a real one you see.

  10. hahahaha... there's too much STIs, TRUST only in purple :)