Monday, January 17, 2011

Like a virgin 2

In my head- I wanna be a freakin bad...

Again,the naivete. So. Isn't sex expensive? The other day Mr. M. and I went to get tested. There's a VCT centre at Phoenix House in town on 5th floor. Apparently,VCT is no longer free. Or at least,there,it's 150. Is that the kawa going rate? *sigh* Back when I was in school,it was free. They used to beg us to go get tested,and give us glow-in-the-dark wristbands that said Jijue. Or something. Guess they wanted us to preach the importance of being tested in the dark as well.

Condoms. Does anyone actually trust Trust? I speak from an oblivious point of view,but I don't think I've heard anyone ever buy Trust condoms. In fact,they're more likely to use the free ones from the school dispensary (wow. School twice in one posts. Detachment issues?) than Trust. Ok so that leaves us with Contempo Casuals which even I would avoid after that whole oh,oops,one of our brands is ZERO PERCENT EFFECTIVE. WTF? Yes,I still remember that. And will continue to do so. Which leaves Durex. Depending on how many times you...,like,on a daily? weekly? and how many times y' many packs does that average? (lol cigarettes) And how do broke students (yup. Definitely detachment issues.) afford that? You know what,maybe it's a sign. Maybe people shouldn't be having sex if they're too broke to.

Because when things hit fans,and something goes wrong-which,OBVIOUSLY,it can-it's going to take moolah to fix. Jus sayin. Mr. M. thinks I'm being ridiculous,and pessimistic,but seriously. The going rate for a gyna is about 2k. Because once you start,you WILL have to start going,whether your vag is fine or not. (clearly speaking to the women here. Which also brings me to,are y'all supposed to split the sex bills?) If it's not fine,there's drugs,tests...not cheap. A simple UTI can run up to 10k in medical fees. When you go to the VCT centre,do you get checked for the other stuff as well? (first off,DO you go to the VCT centre? Not going...can also be incredibly expensive. In the long run.) No? So there's that too. Say you randomly feel scared of cervical cancer (you know,the number 1 killing cancer of women in Kenya. That lil thing.) which is caused by a virus called HPV,which is passed on through sex (but also epithelial-ie skin-on-skin contact). It's a freaking STD that causes cancer. The vaccination is 21k in Kenya. If you've already had sex,there's no point in getting it,but you do need to go for regular pap smears. SEX IS EXPENSIVE! (bottom line :o)

Clearly,chicks have more to worry about. And maybe because of my state, *refer to title* I overthink things. Or do I? Correct me if I'm wrong. Is sex expensive? Do people think about this stuff? How the hell do one night stands happen,or is paranoia an exclusive club? Hit me up...



  1. Sex is expensive depending on how you handle it ... about condoms, doing it on thd regular then using Durex can be quite the bitch...imepanda from 90 to if you hit that box say 15 times per week we talking 600 bob...

    Pills are expe... a tiny tube of KY jelly is 150! insane...

    All in all, rubber is the way to go...saves most to find the one that makes your budget look good...

    I tend to think sex is less expensive than some other guilty pleasures, everybody has them...if you ask me i'd rather get some than get wasted on liquor for example if it was down to strict choices...

  2. ah ha ha ha is paranoia an exclusive club?! i am Laughing Out Loud (see what i did there?! hmm?). Funny. Yeah right. Nope it isn't. I love the post. And yes it is expensive, don't let some vag-less creature tell you otherwise. :-D

  3. LMAO Abi you are hilarious... but I feel you at the same time lol. I especially loved the part about splitting the bill Ahahaha. I had a similar experience recently at the clinic as well. An annual check up here including the pap smears the STD testing (you know, the works) runs at about 300-USD (about 24,315.00 KES). AND to me, thats not even the craziest part... Most of the state clinics have a program that makes this all free as long as you take their birth control. I don't know about you but that only makes me question, why you even want me to taking your pills that bad? I'm sorry, I may have heard 1 to many conspiracy stories growing up but I don't trust it.
    If you can't afford an annual and still don't want their birth control then they're forced to send you away. Due to "budget cuts," the birth control is your only option. Its bizzar... With that said though, we also need to reassess our priorities when it comes to state money. Sex/health is expensive and I bet if it was cheaper or better yet free, more people would be healthy lol (I'm just sayin). Anyway great post luv and even better title hehe. -N

  4. And that right there is the million dollar(or according to above comment 24,315.00 ksh) question. Is it really possible to be a cheap Slut? :p Great post. Quite amusing.

  5. i personally am an advocate for chastity (not the cologne) but the hump and the bump something i personally call buhmp is like a sugar to a child, thus no matter how expensive it gets the social animal called man will cross the heavens and earth literally for buhmp :) to prove my point when the astronauts embark to outer space do you think they are eager to come back for the environment or to buhmp.
    I agree thats its expensive whether you are mike sonko or the guy for "fully fully condition" they will look for the means and way to spend just for buhmp.

  6. Let's not call it paranoia because let's face it, all the concerns you've raised are reasonable. The note's title notwithstanding...

  7. According to @ArcherMishale,

    Regardless of the cost of condoms, it's cheaper than not using one. In time, you forget about the cost, it becomes like toiletries (sp). I don't debate about which aftershave is cheapest, I debate on which is best. Coz either way I'll still buy aftershave.

  8. You know,you all make great points. Lol. Cheap slut,Michael? Apparently no such thing lol. Spankme,your name belies your stand,lol. Jus messing. But there are those who have already made their choice,or are planning to,so...for those who would rather enDURE(x) than burn in lust...yeah. Think about it. See how I did that,BWTB? Lol. :o) Nia,that's CRAZY. And here I thought it was easier in the States. Sigh. Willpress and know what,basically,people would just rather have sex. <full stop. :D

  9. Dude, don't do it. It's never that serious, or expensive- until you do. Unless it's Colin Farrell asking for it, then it's a wrap- a Durex wrap!pahaha

  10. PAahahaha
    Abba You are too funny but I agree minus the Colin Farrell part but maybe add Idris Elba to that lol.

  11. oooh far too many good ones. enDUREx and Durex wrap! You have made me smile rather a lot! You and #4 x

  12. Nyako, its only expensive if you don't take care of yourself. No one would go to Somalia without a gun, yet unprotected sex is aaight. Clearly we are surrounded by stupid people...

    Didn't know mamas can go through all that. Eish... On that note, split the bill.

    Condoms? Research. Find out what people say about what you plan to use. But for Heaven's sake, DO SOMETHING!

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  14. Great post. Sex is
    expensive and yes the bill
    should be split although
    its the lady who gets
    screwed {yes i said that}

  15. hehehe... Ati 'No one would go to Somalia without a gun...' I'm besides myself in laughter. Sometimes I wish I was advertising, some statements make for a good commercial.

    Expensive is good... Expensive motivates effort to work, expensive facilitates appreciation thus cultivating togetherness (Spelt MARRIAGE). What am I trying here! Sex is healthy, sex brings about Joy n' Sex is good exercise. Nothing good comes cheap

  16. Umm...another great post! But now I got totally cold feet. Ebu, we keep these goods under wraps, n no, not that kind of wrap. Thinking about it, it is way too expensive, so you know what, if you want it then you should put a ring on it a la Beyonce.