food/love/life/film

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Choices

I love bathrooms. Preferably clean ones with jacuzzis,but I'm not ├╝berpicky about the jacuzzi. The bathrooms is the one room in the digz that fulfills all my basic human needs. Other than the obvious,bathroom duty (doody! Hehe) releases endorphins that quite frankly are only comparable to orgasm,particularly if we're talking after a long-ass road trip. You fulfill social needs as you toilet tweet. Literary needs are covered when you're reading magazines on the john (so sad that someone's name is a euphemism for perching on the stinker. Among other things). Plus,there's that unbeatable alone time. Most people aren't rude enough to make you leave the lav or work on a time card. Unless you're related.

Marriage isn't necessarily one of those things that I'm planning to do,but if I was,twetiquette would be very important to me. I'm not going to move in with just anyone,especially anyone who leaves the seat up (dead horse,that) or leaves a box of tissue on the roll,and doesn't feel obligated to put another roll on. This is why I support come-we-risk ninininis. I can't possibly know all your flaws unless I live with you. For all I know,you may be hiding a Will Ferrel obsession,and I can't have that.

But what about those things that are filed under irreconcilable differences? Those things that twetiquette classes can't change or reverse? Like let's say you're dating someone who comes to family weddings and rescues you from overenthusiastic men and everything's good until you realize he wants tiny versions of him afoot and you have absolutely no intention of procreating anyone's lineage...compromise is all well and good,but you can't exactly have half a child,can you?

Hm.

tSN

ps. I really hate it when reggae artists take any song and just put a reggae beat on it like all songs are meant to be reggae. ESPECIALLY when it doesn't flow. UGH.

P.p.s. If you sprinkle when you tinkle,be a sweetie. Wipe the seatie.

12 comments:

  1. "You fulfill social needs as you toilet tweet", guilty as charged

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  2. lol. am also into come-we-risk ninininis too. but i hear i man will pretend for ages just to get what he wants...so he might actually change after you marry.

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  3. I love this! hehe i never toilet yweet because i have this irrational fear that my phone will drop into the loo and i'll have to thrust my hand in to pick it eeew!! nice toilet rhyme-gotta use that sometime :) and i towwtallee agree about the annoying reggae beat on other people's songs

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  4. that's it... now for someone who doesn't tolerate the marriage concept, you're bearing on a lot. what could have struck that nerve? (two points)

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  5. And WHAT exactly is wrong with will ferrel?? lol

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  6. I know jina,you see right through me. Quick disclaimer Miki. I watched Megamind today,and I take back everything I ever said about him in derision. Everything. Ok,most things. Ed...been there,done that. :D wanza,men...sigh...yeah. Toilet tweet,people. It's a *whispering* movement. No,don't read that without the little asterisks.

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  7. Megamind was so awesome, yeah? Cool post!

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  8. It really was,bree. And strengthofherwords,I could say the same for you,but I'd have to get off my I'm lying to everyone's face thing,and I can't do that. So I won't. So I won't say it. But you'll never know if I was lying about the lying thing,will you. WILL YOU??! *breathing heavily*

    I watched Megamind today. Ask me no questions and I'll stop panting.

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  9. OK, once & for all, kwani putting the toilet seat down is tanatmount to taking women back to the dark ages?! Then he'll leave it down, & pee all over it. THEN where will you be? Surely...

    Loo is a pretty cool place, I concur.

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  10. Well, my creativity loves opens spaces so its fields and long drives to nowhere in particular for me.. But I'll try (one) toilet tweet I see where it takes me...

    Most people who do reggae covers just suck at it!!! But Singing Melodies had it on lock back in the day! What i like though are the remixes of classic tunes, eg. what Elephant Man did to Toto's Africa, the one the TPF4 crew murdered..

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