I met a man today. A real man,ladies,not these fops who perpetuate and pontificate of a manliness they do not understand behind thin facades of idiocy; no. A MAN.
This man...had a look in his eye that told me he knew exactly what he wanted to do to me,when,and how. He had it timed to the very last innuendo-filled phrase. His handshake was polite,perfunctory. His manner,cordial,engaging. But his tongue; it moved like a machine of liquid mercury searing through my rapidly penetrated defenses.
I observed him coolly, trying, for once, to obey societal norms, keeping the overrated mystery alive. I told him I liked his tie. He blushed,suddenly,surprisingly. I made him blush? The Chocolate Factory was thus further endeared to Willy Wonka by this innocent expression of modesty. It was like Adonis - nay,Eros - being bashful. Cute.
And his name! I had a vision of a Mandingo manly man in a loincloth,claiming his territory (think Djimon Honsou in that Calvin Klein ad. Mmmm.). Hopefully,that territory would be me.
I asked him where he came from. He told me he came from a little village where men were men and women liked them that way. (That explained much of his manner...) He told me of his heritage,and I wanted to carry his children. (ok,maybe at least talk about it)
He flirted shamelessly,tastefully. He made me laugh,then made me shiver. My niece,who introduced us,mentioned that I had participated in Vagina Monologues. He said, Why have an event to talk about it? Why not just give it up? We can have a dialogue. Nothing I hadn't heard before,but of course,different because it was him.
I stared deeply into his eyes and saw seduction from the quintessential rake. Promises of steamy,poetry-filled nights. Chivalry. Heat. Charm. Colours. Darkness. Depth. Then I stared at the middle finger on his left hand and saw a ring.
tSN
Ghaaaiiii!!!
ReplyDeleteNext time shut your eyes for a minute...and enjoy the moment
ReplyDeleteyou know what to do...don't stare..esp at middle fingers on left hands!
ReplyDeleteBut what is his name?!I need to know!!:O!!!Manly men, number one weakness!Luckily they are so bloody few and far between.SMH
ReplyDeleteHe made you think of children??!!!! Did no one see that phrase?! Children! dude...
ReplyDeleteOpps, I meant I did not even know it. TRUST ME I remember it ha ha
ReplyDeleteI went out on a couple dates before with a married man and did not even remember it. That SOB! At least I got chicken fingers out of it.
ReplyDeletethebluntonion.blogspot.com
OH MUH GOD. HAHAHA. You had me going and I was like, "OHH GIRL GETTUM." And then I read the end. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....
ReplyDeleteThe good ones are always taken
ReplyDeleteUwww... I felt a sliver of apprehension at the end! <3 this piece. Just found you off Wamathai. You're a very good writer :)
ReplyDelete@Viv always? *wails in despair*
ReplyDelete@Mis Thank you. :o) keep reading. Tell your friends. Find me a man. LOL.
Yuck!
ReplyDeleteyes, always
ReplyDelete