food/love/life/film

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A moderately offensive post. No offense.

I went shoe shopping today. As a rule,I don't do Bata. All the shoes I get from there tend to pinch my toes,though they claim to be size 8. But today I was feeling gracious/stupid. In I went.

They brought back shoes that I had wanted ages ago! *excitement* Trying to learn from past experiences,I ordered a size 9 black. They said,we don't have size 9. I was crestfallen. Especially after the attendant had ignored me. (Small Ball Syndrome) So I asked the disinterested attendant what shoes they had in size 9. He pointed out some HIDEOUS brown wedges. Wow. Fanfuckingtastic.

I left the shop to go to the next one,which is exactly Bata but a different name. You know,that new franchise that's just opened up? Yeah. Didn't get too far with that. They only stock till size 7. See? Same as Bata.

Why do shoe shops only stock shoes for small people? (spade's a spade) Including second hand vendors. I find it offensive and inconsiderate to assume that ALL Kenyan women have small feet. Do we look like 15th century China? It's bloody frustrating for we of the big-footed,ha,variety.

On that,why do lingerie shops only stock stock for 12 year old titties? I find it offensive and-oh,already said that. Smaller sized breasteses have such an easy time finding bras and such,as the manufacturers assume there is no size after C. Anything bigger looks like a bra for people with 4 babies and a mortgage. The fashion world assumes that everyone is a size 0,or wants to be. How many plus size models do you know? The next big thing in fashion, @thogii, argues on her blog (gettingontherunway.blogspot.com) that if clothes are supposed to be worn by ordinary people,then ordinary people should be represented on the catwalk. Right?

I have thus concluded,life isn't easy for a big girl. In fact,it's quite disheartening. But even worse,is watching how easy life is for the small one. Especially the small,light one. KK and I have a special term for them: LSB. Light Skinny Bitches. Again,no offense...ahem. This is not to say that all small light slight girls are annoying,bitchy and possess all the personality of a dead fish. Au contraire. I know several wonderful LSBs,such as @noniboo, @b_wtb, @kawiria...whose numbers I would totally get,and totally have. :o) I'm saying that more often than not,LSBs have
1. Developed absolutely no personality because the of the light thing. Oh come on. You know the direct correlation between Africans and lighter skinted folk and ignorant unabashed fawning. So many funny looking people are excused for their sleep-inducing conversation and misplaced features simply because they're light.
2. Because of the unfortunately automatic privileges accorded to they-who-shall-not-be-named,ha,they look down on everyone else. Like the dark ones. Or the fat ones. Hence resulting in the bitch factor,more often than not.

It's a conspiracy,I tell you! Fashion is for LSBs. In Kenya,anyway. Someone needs to open a store like Torrid in the States which caters to the voluptuous without making us look 50.

The point is,I don't like Bata.

tSN

ps. www.allwoman.co.ke

22 comments:

  1. Voluptuous for women
    Biggie no Smallz for guys

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are TOO bitter!! and as I speak as an empathizer(is that a word) to those waaay below C cups, do you know how difficult it is to get a dress that fits both your bottom and top half. And this is ALL over the world!
    But the LSB syndrome is so true in that country, ati just because your're yellow, it means you're hot/deserve better treatment. I can think of 15 yellow shoes off the top of my head. And that Java waitress. I'm so bitter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. its a conspiracy, i tell you! fashion is for LSBs....it sure is!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha ha ha. Wah. Hell hath no fury like a voluptuous woman unshodden. Eish.

    As for LSB...#thanksbye..loving you! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  5. we of small feet kweli ours have been stepped on! i am not skinny but i do have kinda small feet so where does that place me.. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. No,you, the point (which I find strange you missed,since you know....you wrote this!) is..your voluptuous(sp?) ..well,and bitter...but voluptuous(sp!) carries the day.
    sincerely,
    @Dans_onPoint. :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Miki Ha.

    @Abba of COURSE I'M BITTER. You should be too, I'ma start sending you for shoes. :D

    @B_WTB HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A VOLUPTUOUS WOMAN UNSHODDEN. YOU ARE TOO PRICELESS.

    @nymmoh you were warned. LOL. You're not an LSB, but you ARE a BATAENABLER. Which isn't as bad, but still. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL DANS_ONPOINT! Nicely done. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gal, I know a lady who will get you whatever size of bra. Holla! :-P I might be an LSB BUT I loved this post.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hate Bata, ever since prima when my toughees could only last like 4 months..yuck! Bata is for tasteless trolls *with small feet*

    But you do have a point, LSBs have it easier, but then again insecure much? Nothing makes an LSB fall apart faster than a non-LSB who is comfortable in their own skin...

    ReplyDelete
  11. what a post. This is so stereotypical, I would call you a bitch just for mscheewing LSBs. but I won't. I will find you stores that stock trendy plus size clothes and post them here for you.
    Don't be too bitter

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great post! ION Excuse me Nigel Mwaura, bata has some pretty decent shoes! #hushpuppies we aren't all tasteless trolls you know... But yes bata need to work on shoe sizes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ugh... don't get me started on the bra thing...

    representing for the LVB's!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. That is one very passionate post man, what? Very un-apologetic also. I like reading your posts.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Looks like someone's come across a conspiracy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You said it! I don't you're ranting though, seems to me you just highlighted a situation as it is on the ground. Good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I feel you on all fronts other than the shoe size part...and bata LOL!!! About bras WHAT!!!Its a nightmare getting good, well fitting reasonably priced bras in Kenya...And i especially hate those stall/shop women who determine your bra size by looking at your chest and offering you a C cup when your a DD!!! Am so bitter about that...You better utilize your cousins in the UK to send you good bras...I heavily invested when i was in the UK and my boos are now sooo happy :):)

    ReplyDelete
  18. @Wairema @Wairu RIGHT??!!

    @Antony I always knew.

    @Thogi Hi Thogi. :o)

    @thegreatimpression Thank you. :o)

    @wilfylou @nigmwa I actually like some of their shoes #boatshoes #blakelively, anyone? But...they're never in my fucking size...insecure? Angry? Thin line?

    @stylifiq of COURSE it's stereotypical. Sterotypes happen because norms are frequented. And hence, of COURSE I'm bitter, because this stereotype happens to alienate most of my large body parts. Sigh. In fact, do that. Go forth and find me shoes, please, lol #kthnxbye

    @ijustsaidthat how much from where etc...ON that story. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  19. so unfair...my shoes are almost always boring.i rarely ever find anything good that wont require me to cut off my toes for my feet to fit :/

    ReplyDelete
  20. @Akel et al Do check out this link. We have attempted to clarify our shoe size issues. http://bit.ly/fgNt1k

    Please do check at Bata Hilton-what big shoe sizes they have currently.

    Thank you Cuppatea :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Stones From The SeaApril 15, 2011 at 2:47 AM

    wow!!!!....because big women have the right to insult. Well,translate LSB in terms of big, do let me what u think.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Be easy. It's a term, not an insult. Like I said. Many nice ones I know. Think of B in a loose, friends-calling-each-other-names kind of way. :D

    ReplyDelete