You know,no one ever thinks that they would ever do half the things they end up doing 5 years later. In the words of Justin Bieber,never say never. :D WAIT! Don't stop reading! There's a point! :o)
I have always suspected that I'd be a really good lesbian. Or I have delusions of grandeur. I like women,I like their bodies,they're fun to look at,they're fun to...anyway,yeah. So I'm at the club last night,in a small dress that makes me feel about 17-good times-when my friend J decides that it would be fun to take advantage of my currently inebriated state. We've been checking out mamas the whole night,and there's one in particular we've decided we like. So J turns to me and says tSN,I dare you to go pick her up. Keep in mind there is alcohol involved,not to mention the quickest way to get me to do something is to imply I can't.
So I go over.
I need to warn you. What I'm about to say is a bit strange.
She smiles. What?
You're really pretty.
She giggles. Yup...giggles.
And I want your number.
Giggles again. I've never been picked up by a girl before.
I gave you fair warning. We laugh. She asks me what my name is. I ask hers as well. (wa. Vital things I'm missing. How did I not ask her her name???)
Seriously,a girl has never picked you up? And you look like that? I'm going to get my phone right now. (yeah. I went without my phone. I dunno. Blame it...)
She puts in her number. The guy she was with comes back and eyes me suspiciously...then I realize I know him. Because HE'S MY COUSIN. There's an audience laughing in my head. I try and slink away while not trying not to look suspicious or like I was trying to steal his woman away. Which,to be fair,I wasn't...really. Fortunately,he's too drunk to really notice. I can't stop myself from doing a victory bow when I get back to my table.
When I'm leaving,I go up to her and say
May I kiss your cheek?
She lets me,with a smile.
I text her 2 hours later when I get home.
tSN. For women who want to score.