Regrets and Jamaica

I spent rent money on a phone that doesn't work as well as it should, and now I feel bad. It's like, if you pay for something, it should work (TIK). Like when I go to Art Caffe. Why are there flies on food that costs so much?

Long have I kept faithful to my beloved Nokia...but we all know what happens when shit gets abusive (I now own THREE modems. They think I'll stay? They think I'll stay? AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR DAT.). My Nokias are getting a tad abusive. The C2 was nice for a while, though I did not expect much from it...actually, it's the one saving me now, nisiidharau. The one for now, the E5?

-Flashlight no work
-Adobe no read
-One side earphone no work
-Hang long time
-No do de Twitter multiple accounts
-Switch off when it feel
-Nokia Store be a lie

Nokia, Y U NO be faithful? Why you de force me to go android?

SOMEBODY WILL CROSS IT!!

tSN

p.s. Go follow @YouThePower on Twitter and National Youth Summit - Kenya on Facebook. Now. Thaaaaanks.

The most dangerous meal ever.

I was at my mom's, happily acting like a bachelorette (or rather, not really acting. Because I am...) and having my fill of chapos. I piled on some chicken and sukuma and stuck that sweet looking baby in the microwave (except for the chapo. I don't do chapos and microwaves. Takes away the flavour. Becomes watery on the edges. Completely unsatisfying. Chapo on a pan is crisp and loyal to the true taste of every chapo ever consumed.

I take food seriously.)

I joyously take the (half) meal out of the microwave and put the chapo on the plate. I am singing...you know. Joyously.

I drop the plate.

I stare at the shattered glass and shattered crisp chapo dreams before me. Then I decide Germs can't...um...whatever that thing is, I can't think straight because I am busily thinking 'Save the chapo! Save the world!' I put everything back onto the plate.

There are shards of plate in my chapo and chicken. I nearly swallow a few. I clearly have a death wish that day, because I literally notice these agents of the Anti-Chapo Enjoyment Agency (sent by the Microwave Association, of course) milliseconds before I eat them.

I get to the end of the meal in a cold sweat. Why didn't I stop? (Je ne sais pas) Couldn't I have gotten another chapo? (Mais oui) Maybe I wanted a blogpost entitled the most dangerous. Meal. EVER.

My friend met Mr. T at the movies. She told me about it. My heart frantically grabbed an oxygen mask to regulate my breathing into its proper rhythm. Like a dula, I asked, 'Did he ask about me?' Of course he didn't. They never do. And of course, he didn't have the decency to get less attractive. A song started playing in my head (because I live in a movie) 'fire in her eyes/fire in her eyes/something something she's got fire in her eyes/' only replacing the her with his... '/I love her scandal/'...

That boy is dangerous, but I need to not see him. Sijui I hama. Not the most dangerous meal ever...but he was a tasty one.

Fire in his eyes...

tSN

p.s. So, microwave, or not?

Vices

Certain things make me weak at the knees. Chocolate men wearing loafers who are bald and have accents...or just chocolate men. Chocolate delicacies, like a Snickers bar. A good book at a great deal (just bought the ENTIRE Chronicle of Narnia series for a sock. Mind = blown, and, well, knickers...). Good food. A fantastic beach. A backrub. The little things.

The little things can also be the vices. I like to eat, and I do it a lot, and I do it well. I may not do it too healthily though. I like money (like everyone). And so the other day I found myself standing by those Kenya Charity Sweepstakes stands and looking at one ticket longingly. One of my boys was with me and he decided he can be the money and I can be the good luck charm. We lost a sock, but won 6 sock. I am not sure this is going to end well.

tSN

p.s. Happy New Year.

Let's! Go! FLY a KITE!!

I really hate the weird sounds planes make. Like, when it's in the air and the ka-hum reduces as if it's an appliance about to go off. But, aside from that, I love me some planes. I'd forgotten how much I like flying, to the point I get a little bit emotional. I'd forgotten how smug I feel when I watch passengers who were silly enough to wear lots of metal and overcomplicated, metal, shoes. That jump in your tummy at takeoff, as if you have a crush on the skies and your heart leaps to meet it every time, to soar too. The ant farm that everything below becomes, reducing common problems (like traffic) to peasize. The sunlight glinting off the aeroplane wing when all you can see is shine and blue. That blinking light that remains constant, like a good boyfriend. :D

That flight was like a jav ride, though. It took shorter to get there than it would to get to town from my digz. Ha, and there's a sign on the wing that says 'Do not step out of this area.' Yeah right. Because that's bloody likely.

I like haikus (form of...Japanese? Poetry, in which first line is 5 syllables, then 7, then 5). When I wasn't laughing at statements on the plane, I was writing those. Find below. Like an exam question. Lol.

Tripping on mountains.
Clouds and a breeze The wing says
Do not step out. Nope!

Pressurized cabin.
Is that to say no farting?
Will the plane blow up?

tSN

JUWIIIIZZZZZZZ

Like a grown up, today I went and bought many things that the world says one should have in a grown up's house (clearly, this is quite the bone of contention/main underlying theme with me). One of these was a fridge.

The fridge section tends to be boring. Especially the cheap fridge section. Annoyance #1 was the fact that the price of the fridge was not what everyone I had asked said it would be. A difference of 2gs is still a difference.

2, all fridges are a boring colour. They all want to be in a 20s black and white/Charlie Chaplin movie. Oh look, I'm black! And I'm grey! White over here! Where are the reds, the blues, the oranges? WHAT'S THE POINT OF THE RAINBOW??

3, APPARENTLY Nakumatt charges you to deliver, which I do not think they should, especially as my digz is behind the supermarket. The number of smart points I got made me feel a tad better, but...still. Aisee. It's like the way Steers decided to be douches and only deliver if I ordered over a k worth of food. Ati because I live far. WHERE is that on your poster, Mr. Galito man? False advertising is the downfall of eateries and government institutions. *sigh* See why I need a car?

Point is, I have a fridge. Time to do some BLAMING! Not that I need a fridge to blame it, it just seemed like an appropriate way to end the...no?...ok.

tSN

p.s. I AM ON WHATSAPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

Film: The Hobbit | An Unexpected Journey

Yes, I did. I watched it before you. LOL.

I had some apprehension going into this movie; first, because I would rather Christopher Nolan not ruin yet another epic from me, and second, I mean, aside from Star Wars, are prequels ever worth it?

YES.

I loved it! All of it. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. It was beautifully shot in beautiful places. The 3D rocked! Ah, Imax, it had been too long. :o) It was rarely funny, but when it was funny, it was funny. It was scary when it was, moving when it was...and such a guy flick. You see ONE chick in the whole movie (unless some of the Orcs...I mean, I can't tell, can I). The Dwarf King is a H.O.T.T.I.E.! Yes sir, please dwarf me with your...size...anytime. LOOOOOOL. I LOVED seeing old favourites (this isn't a spoiler, they say it in the previews and things) like Gandalf and the Lady of Lorien, King Elrond...once again, it made me reminiscient of WOT. AND, AND, AND, I actually REMEMBERED one of the Gollum rhymes, which is so unusual because I read this book when I was 10. I didn't want the movie to end, at all, and again, as apprehensive as I was about there being 3 movies for a 300 page long book, Peter Jackson has done it again. This whole movie gave me the fuzzies (especially when Mr Dwarf King Man and his...armour...was on screen...ok I'll stop); the kind you can only get from a movie whose history you know and have watched grow, like a nostalgic looking-forward-to-the-next-ones type. A sound 4 out of 5, tying with Nairobi Half Life for 3rd best movie of the year...unless Django Unchained is a cray cray masterpiece. We shall have to wait and see. (also, the Star Trek trailer? SOOOOO watching it next year!!!!!)

tSN

Film: Pitch Perfect

Aside from my brilliant writing, I used to belong to one of the best a cappella groups ever (shout out to my boy Mike, who's gonna fly my private plane when I'm rich). We were pretty fantastic. I was just the talent, but the two guys behind the magic (magic here referring to vocal arrangements and...all that stuff that talent doesn't know) were...magical, y'know? Those were great times in my life.

I watched Pitch Perfect and I was insulted. By so many things. The great thing about it was the songs, which I didn't feel there were enough of, but whatever. I liked that they picked people with strange faces, not classic beauties or muscled jocks, like Stomp the Yard. Not that I'm complaining, sigh...but everything else about this movie sucked. The plotlines, character developments and so-called moral takeaway were all over the place, as was the script, the comedy, the...everything. The saving graces were a few characters (Rebel Wilson and Skylar Astin rocked), and like I said, the songs. I raised my eyebrows a lot, partially from confusion and partially trying really hard to stay awake through the garbled tieback romanticism of The Breakfast Club. I was even further insulted that it has a 77% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I think is a laughable travesty.

An a cappella/singoff movie is a hard movie to make, I agree. It's like a dance movie; all you want to do is focus on the voice. Even with Glee, I think there is a lot lacking but they make up for it. Or you get used to it. Whatever. With PP, they didn't even try. These folks clearly wrote a script when they were asleep.

It gets a 2 out of 5. And that is a looooooooooooooooooow 2.

Ati they want to make a sequel. I need to get back to singing.

tSN