food/love/life/film

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Saying goodbye

There's never really a right time or a right way to say...
I've moved to a website.
So...posts here are going to be super sporadic and probably copy pasted.
So what I am saying is move your views, lol, so that riches and fame follow me.
I'm good with just riches. Hehe.

I have been thinking of how to say it.
For some reason - probably because this was my second home but felt more homey than my first one, on Wordpress - it's been hard for me to write this post. I've been distracted and lacking words to say how deeply attached I am to this tiny bit of a universe that exists only in a space dominated by binary digits and things I don't understand because I never cared for programming...but the part I understood is that this meant something important to me.

I feel hesitant to leave it behind. This place, and the new one, means growth, I suppose, and progress, as movement is supposed to - but I've never been good with change and moving on. You know that phrase that says everything I have ever let go of has claw marks on it? This post...my claw marks.

Change scares me. And is me at the same time. Survival scares me more. Because the 'fittest' is so very relative and I always feel like I fall short - I am too lazy to be fit and exercise is almost never fun. Adulthood is a lie perpetuated by people who enjoy the company i.e. misery - much like the myth of a biological clock and parts of religion, but unfortunately, an unfortunate reality. Progress. Growth. Change. Survival. I keep telling it to myself to see if my mind will accept it - my heart may never.

I'm anxious for this to work out. I'm anxious to hold on to this and wondering if I can let go - pained, because I've let go of so much already.

Let's see how this works out.
Till next time,

tSN
akello.co.ke

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