food/love/life/film

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Book: Star


So, I am ashamed that after not doing a book review in forEVER, THIS is the book I choose to do. Forgive me. In my defence, there are a couple of books I have been trying to read that are just really not working out (you know, the ones that everyone including the Pulitzer/Oprah says are supposed to be good, but really, really are not...e.g. Angela's Ashes or The Secret Life of Bees), so it may be a while until I do another book review...but we shall see.

Don't forget, I rent out my books. The rate fluctuates so make sure you catch me on a good day.

Paha. #capitalism

So, Star is a thinly veiled memoir by Pamela Anderson (she of the gigantic bazumbas) and some other guy who decided to co-write with her (I highly doubt she wrote a word of this thing). It is basically a testimony of how far tits can get you in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Because it's all about what commodity you have that you can use to get ahead (#freetrade). I.e., this book is not Kenyan. Ha. And yes, the picture above is the (inside) cover.

She gets spotted shaking it on a camera at a football game and the rest is history, basically. Like folks, her boobs propelled her to stardom, and not because they were full of hot air, pahaaaaaaa. It is supposedly not her story, but you can tell it so is (I Wikid it. Thus is must be true). It's full of the usual gratuitous sex and...um...

The one thing that I do admire about Pamela Anderson (words I thought I'd never say) is that when she wants to do something (live, f*, get a boob job, drink, have fun, write a badly-crafted book) she really does just go out and do it. That is all I got from this book. I forced myself through it because I had to. Like KCSE. (I have this thing where I find it really hard to not read a book to the end if I've already started. Which is why I am STILL reading The Secret Life of Bees. From like last year. And the way I was excited to get it for like 30 bob). It gets like a 1. Out of...um...lol, 5. Ok, maybe a half.

tSN

p.s. FINALLY about to watch MIB3! The WEEK of Batman! Ha, which I booked tickets for like 2 weeks ago...

20 comments:

  1. secret life of bees is a classic!!!

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  2. I refuse! You diss Angela's Ashes and review Pamela BOOBIE Anderson!!! You're just asking for it, ain't you?

    In other news, I swagger up 20th C patting myself on the back on my phenomenal taking initiative powers and ask for 2 tickets for TDKR for Friday 8:50 show. Shock on me. The thing is sold out. On Sato they only had the first 2 rows available....so I'm watching on Sunday...and keeping away from your review in case of spoliers.

    Angela's Ashes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    P.S - Finished 'Never Let Me Go' which goes right to the top 5 of most awesome books ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm...I'm really trying here.

      *sniff*

      AND I HAD A DISCLAIMER, MAN. COME OOOON.

      Ok and seriously? Don't you have the number for Imax? That show was sold out like 2 weeks ago, when *I* was booking my ticket. TSK TSK.

      Who's Never Let Me Go by?

      TDKR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Also, I would never. NEVER. Spoil TDKR. For anybody. On pain of death.

      Ok, not death.

      Delete
  3. Kazuo Ishiguro. Ok, make fun of me. He wrote 'Remains of the Day' which was awesome and 'Artist of the Floating World'...which was nice enough but has one of the best opening paragraphs ever. He writes beautifully. Sometimes you just want to read his sentences over and over. Try Never Let me Go. It's sad and beautiful and horrific and simply one of the best love stories you'll ever read.

    Feel free to call me a pretentious asshat.

    I'm headed to the hills to live in a cave till Sunday. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

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  4. Hey, you CANNOT talk ill of Angela's ashes, you just cant. That is a beautiful book. I have always'ghost' read your blog i.e. without commenting but attacking Angela's Ashes has drawn me out guns blazing....lol.A bout miss boobs up there well, her funbags have propelled her to places am sure she didnt think she would get to...in fact a more apt title to her book would be 'An ode to My Fun Bags'.... Now let me retreat back to ghost city...
    Still love your blog- partly because I think you are nuts. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WAIT! NO! Don't leave me girrrrl...please stay with me toniiiiiight...

      I like them feisty.

      Rawrr. :D

      Hey, some like it hot, some like it ashy. *shrugs*

      Delete
  5. ...tee hee hee....

    Also, there are guys in Nairobi who've watched TDKR by now. I hate them all...till Sunday after I watch the film.

    By the way, what's with the weird time thingy on the posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time thingy??

      I have.

      I don't think I can post a review for a week, though.

      Delete
    2. e.g I posted my comment on Friday at about 7pm but it shows as 8:57am. Unless you're living in a different timezone and you jet into the city in your private plane to watch movies and ride matatus and zip out immediately afters.

      You can do a spoiler-laden review. I don't mind. Watched it jana. Guys clapped at the end. I didn't clap coz last time I clapped at a movie was when Ethan Hunt chomokad with a motorbike after we thought he had died but turns out he had put a Ethan Hunt mask on the bad guy's goon. My pals laughed at my shagzmodoness for a week. But at least I clapped in my heart. I clapped like a fool.

      Delete
    3. Oh.

      Maybe that's because they use blogger time because it's based in the States? I dunno.

      I am not sure I am emotionally reasy to review TDKR.

      Delete
  6. Alright I suppose there WAS a disclaimer. And you don't seem to have enjoyed the book. So I won't give you hell.

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  7. Was there a Secret life of bees movie? I know I could google, but I could also ask you know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was. :o) Wilth Halle Berry and Queen Latifah.

      Delete
    2. Not Halle, my other girlfriend, Alicia Keys...although we've agreed to see other people for now. But it's all good. I ain't bitter *sob*.

      ...and I understand. TDKR review must be daunting. We give you a pass. You can just say it was awesome. You cried. You laughed. You wanted to marry catwoman. That is good enough. We all felt the same.

      Delete
    3. I have been schooled.

      Review coming up.

      Delete