So I bought a pregnancy test.
Did you know that a test is 100 bob? It costs a hundred bob to find out if you are having a baby, 50 bob for 3 condoms, 30 bob for the daily pill and 120 for a morning after pill. I feel...is not getting pregnant becoming too easy? Lol.
It was so cheap I began to shuku its vibes. Was it from China? No, it said made in Canada. Which means they made it in China and wrote Canada? *shrugs*
It came in a thin little plastic thing that looked like a nail file sleeve. For real. So I went home and looked at it, and read the instructions like 4 times. It said, Do not use if test is not at room temeprature. Make sure sample is also at room temperature. (Sample. Ha.) Make sure the sample level is below the 'maximum' line on the test. But if you can't open the test to check the line, then how do you know how much to pee?
I didn't have anything to put The Sample in. I am not going to tell you what I used. Not because I have sensibilities, but because you probably do. Just know I did throw it away after use. :o)
I watched The Good Wife as I waited for The Sample and The Test to cool. That Eli Gold...me gusta.
So I carefully rip open the fragiley (does that word exist? Do I care? Who am I, and what is my purpose in this world?) encased test. AGH! The maximum line is like TWO MM UP! Damnit!!! *spill spill spill* Still? Damnit! *spill spilll* Ok. Breathe. Still room temperature? Have my sweaty hands RUINED THIS FOREVER!!??*reads instructions once more*
*says fuck it*
*dumps test in The Sample*