Because I am famous and because I have said so, so it shall be. I may also want a Persian cat, and a trailer, to house my burgeoning entourage.

Nothing like a teency,weency mention from Bikozulu to make me famous (again), ha. Ah, Biko. So good to me. Lol. WELCOME, NEWBIES! Yes, because I know you're there. Yes, Blogger.com has stats that show me up-to-the-minute...um...stats...about who you are, what browser you're using to find me and what search words you used to do so. I got the POWER! (cue running man. If you were born after 1991, don't bother figuring out the reference. POW!)

So clearly, the more famous I get, the more rambly and long-winded. The price of...fame, I guess. (Did you NOT see that one coming? Have you NOT read the URL above?) With the teency, weency mention also comes much pressure. I looked at the last time I posted (yeah, I know) and angry tweets from @untonyto, who sounded positively anguished (autographs outside. Ok, I'll stop) and decided, perhaps it was time.

What's been happening? OMG, where to freaking begin. The last post indicates that I left you all on the tenterhooks (I just used that word in a normal sentence. I'm destined for greatness lol) of suspense. Be easy. Nothing happened. Haven't you ever done anything for the sake of the experience, and not because there was a chance that what you were doing may actually end up being what you end up doing for a while to come? Yeah. That was the case. (like when you go to get tested for HIV and you are OH SO SURE that there is NO WAY you have ANYTHING...but by the time you are getting the prick, you're like, maybe the metal that scratched me on the matatu and left that huge bleeding gash was somehow...maybe the mosquito last night was so insistent because...maybe the ONE TIME...by the time you are waiting for the results, you are planning how to live positively. Which is great. But more often than not, you're hyperventilating and/or talking in a voice that sounds like you've inhaled helium, and you are fine.) There was not a chance, but nonetheless, for future reference, there was NO BABY. You will NOT find a child of mine 18 years from now forging swords in a blacksmith shop (who just finished Game of Thrones, Sn 1? I DID.) Still taking mapplications (the quaint and convenient meshing of man and applications. There's a word for that that I cannot be bothered to look up at the mo.) << *really long paragraph*

Speaking of mapplications, sigh. The Man Front is a hard place to be. C is making a re-entry (but that is a WHOLE other post, and this one has gone on for a bit already). There was a brief fling with Jetson, who seemed promising, but was a summer bunny and thus destined to break my...um...heart...so Jetson was a passing plane that crashed and burnt. Unfortunately, because he was kinda foxy doe. And charismatic. And dark. I like my men the way I like my...night? Stallions? Evil villains in novels? I'm not sure where I am going with this.

Also, I HATE THE CARETAKER IN MY BUILDING. He is, without a doubt, a certified annoying prick. If there was an award for certified annoying pricks, he'd've taken the award six times. Ki-Adele. I think his favourite pastime is to switch my water on and off. Just for kicks. Because it's free. A revenge plan is in the works. *rubs hands together in a gleeful yet sinister manner* This is the dude who tells me I have to find my own fundi for the light in my room. Like I'M the caretaker. WHICH I'M NOT! *woosah* No lights in my bedroom means I almost didn't see the roach on my dresser. Yes, roach. Yes, I TOO do not understand why it was there frolicking about in my things. Like I cook in my bedroom. Like I cook, PERIOD! *sprays Doom and rushes out to write a blogpost* *also, Baygon doesn't work at ALL*

So, yes. Nothing yet. Oh, wait. There was that fun, cheery Nomads Unite post, about Wolverine (The Ex). There's a story brewing there as well. Was the whole point of this post to say keep it locked *throws up gang sign like a cool veejay presenter a la Teroo/Emukule* *they don't ever do that, do they* *reasons I am not a Coca Cola veejay, sigh*, or to get @untonyto off my back? To prove to the world that I can still do it? I am still A GENIUS? To pass time as insecticide seeps into the walls of my room? To have an excuse to watch How I met your mother? To catch Sheep?

We'll never know.

ION, the chick in the Jik ad who sings the Mandoza song...I love that Mandoza song. *TEN! TeteteTEN! TeteteTEN! TeteteTENTENTENteteTEN!!*

tSN