Thursday, July 3, 2014

On Crazy Women

I’ve always said that relationships are hard. And the reason they are hard is because most people are one of two things: immature, or crazy.

The things that make them so are several: people are immature because they lack experience in relationships. They think that playing games as if you’re in a life-long rom-com is the way to snag a guy – a list of tips ad misguided judgment will not, actually get you to the aisle in no time. You’re not Katherine Heigl, and this is not high school.

Other people are crazy, simply because love makes you do crazy things. I have in fact been known to do crazy things, which I will not mention on this forum – or rather, on this particular post –but there is solid evidence behind my theory: parents.

Our parents are crazy and drive us crazy because they LOVE US SO MUCH. It’s a blessing and a curse; there’s a thin line between love and suffocation. The way your parent loves you is a love of extreme proportions; they alternately want to shower you with affection and whip your butt blue with equally strong levels of feeling.

I think love, romantic love, is the same. I have always said that what romantic love really is is choosing not to strangle someone when you have the choice –by someone, I mean significant other, as opposed to other people (who may or may not be fair game, depending on whether you think orange is the new black).

Which brings me to the point of my post.

The other day, in the middle of the night, I got a text from a girl. It was 1 am. I was doing the usual not-nightrunning activities: series, Twitter, etc.

This girl – and I deliberately use this word, because though she is older than me, she doesn’t really act like it – asked me why I don’t understand the concept of boundaries where her boyfriend is concerned.

Now, I can see where she is coming from. One, people generally suspect platonic relationships between members of the opposite sex are false. Two, she’s crazy with love.

I asked her what boundaries she meant and why she was using his phone to text me. Yes, you read that right. She didn’t even bother to think about the fact that he would see it; she just unlocked his keypad (and loosened her cranium) and clicked send.

Maybe it is true what they say - love does make you stupid (or in the very least, blind – to the fact that you are being stupid).

In any case, she did not reply my message, but it got me thinking about the psychoses that women nurture to explain away their insane behavior. It all boils down to love. Whether it’s peeing all over your man to mark your territory (i.e. sending texts from his phone to prove a point) or tying him down as best as you can (by alienating all his female friends because who needs another female in his life?), she texted me because she was scared to lose the love of her life to his friend (either that, or she’s been watching Misery and is taking it to the next level one step at a time).

Much as it is admirable to fight for love, we risk fighting to also unscrew a few bolts in our head. You don’t want to look like the girl who has the look of madness in her eye, tottering on a broken heel as you chase after your fleeing (screaming) man yelling sonnets of dedication. It’s not a good look.

Moral of the story: He doesn’t love you? Buy a cat.


p.s. Orange is the new Black Season 2 is GOLD.

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