Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Office...guess. Guess.

Do y'all watch Happy Endings?

Not the porno.


The series with the ever present gay dude who's hilarious (and actually straight in real life) and Damon Wayans Jr., in all his hot glory.

That one.

So chick who is married to Damon Jr. has a Work Husband. And what are office polootics without a work crush?

So...this dude. Let's call him Pepe.

I think he's bipolar (in the joking bitch-you-crazy kinda way). He's very mercurial in his temperament - like one day he'll be all up in it, the next, he doesn't know you, etc. But he's cute. So I've been letting a lot of his shit pass.

It feels a lot like high school. The jiving, the being rude and sarcastic thing with people you may or may not want to make out with know...Wolverine.

And in my office, it's complicated to have just a crush. There always has to be a heifer involved to kill your vibe.

The particular heifer (let's pretend we are in high school and call her Queen Bee) has been staaaank-eyeing me since the minute I walked in.

I don't understand mamas (yeah, yeah, I know). I mean, this chile is pretty hot. She looks good - all the time - which means salon time and manis, none of which I am even remotely interested in. You can tell her outfits are carefully planned, down to the hairpins, and she walks like she knows it, and you know she knows that you can tell that she knows you know it. Know what I mean?

Anyhue. So QB doesn't talk to anyone except my Work Husband (who, doesn't know he's my Work Husband. So, he's my Work Stalkee. Same difference, really). Well, no, that's not true. She talks to everyone except me. And it's not because I am the new girl. It's because she knows I'm digging Pepe's lips (also a high school phrase which means you want to do something with someone's lips).

I think I'll laugh extra loud tomorrow just to piss her off. Then I'll know that she knows that I'm laughing because I know...and because she's a raging snob, she won't do anything about it.

I swear, jobo is like a soap.


  1. Gracious me! Do they pay you at that office? Do they know you're spending your day making googly eyes at pepe and looking daggers at QB?

  2. Ah, Pepe...
    In all fairness, I am making GOOGLY EYES, not DAGGERS.
    Make love.
    Not war.
    Ah, Pepe...