My friend owes me money, and it's breaking my heart.
Several of my friends have been doing that lately; the breaking heart thing. Your momma told you about boys, but did she tell you about friends?
I know, I know. I shouldn't have lent her money in the first place. But...she was my friend (i.e. I was not going to make her sign a contract. I should start that). And I figured I could always start selling her sh* if she defaulted, one microwave at a time.
It's been 2 years.
I don't even know if we are still friends anymore. I mean, sure, we tweet, but that is the extent of our relationship. I thought we were tight, you know? But friends don't do friends like that, do they? It feels like a freakin breakup, except I want to bash her face in. Oh, wait. It feels exactly like a breakup. Lol.
They say money ruins friendships, but it's not even about the money (ha! YES IT IS! B* WHERE'S MY MONEYYYY???). It's a lot to do with betrayal. I even wrote poetry, yo. Bad poetry, but better than the drivel I've been churning out lately. I almost wished she had kissed Wolverine instead. (HAHAHAHAHA NO I DON'T. These things I keep saying. Forgive me, I am driven mad by grief.)
1. Find a guy who knows a guy to relocate her kneecaps
2. Keep calling her and hope she stops avoiding me
What do you guys do when people owe you money and you can't get it back? Kwanza my landlord from 2 years ago has shikiliad with half of my deposit because I gave him a week's notice (because his house was crap and I needed to move asap). Who. DOES that?
Don't say Kenyans. Me I don't.
WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOO??
(when you...are far...away...and I...am blue...what do I do)