Tuesday, October 11, 2011


It's all well and good to say I am not going to have children when I'm 14, but when you get to *ahem* my age, you wouldn't believe how quickly potential lifetime mates start to fall off the radar after you say that phrase. Problem is, it's true. I'm not planning on children. Ok, not this week, anyway.

I say that for the benefit of all the women reading this and rolling their eyes, thinking "Yeah, sure. Wait till your clock starts ticking." You know what? I think some phrases (like that) are a conspiracy. You hear something for so long, you begin to believe that it has to be true. Much like religion. HA. Anyway, I guess I will not know till I am, what, 65? In which case if I want kids, I will adopt. I don't, right now. At all. Like I always say, they are only cute when you can give them back.

So where does that leave me? I have a few theories. 1, I will be THAT CHICK at the club/garden party/wedding who will have conversations like these:

"I'm Nebuchadnezzar. You can call me Chad."
"What's your name?"
"That's a gorgeous name. Exotic. Are you..."
"Filipino? No."
"I was going to say single."
"Because I'd like to get to know you."
"Do you want children?"
"Children. Kids. Spawn. A procession of your lineage."
"That's...jumping the gun a bit..."
"Not really. You see, I'm at the age where I don't really have a lot of time to waste picking up the pieces after my heart is broken, so if I'm getting into a relationship, or a dateship, or, whatever it is you want, it's going to be a serious one. I am not planning to have any children, so if you are, you're wasting your time."

See what I mean? Then it'll turn out to be my friend's (whose wedding I am attending) brother and I'll be mortified, but whatever. My cousin thinks I am never going to get married (he also thinks my ovaries are community property. Can't fault him, seeing as in Kenya, to have any procedures done in your nethers, you have to get a signature from a male member of your family. Because it's HIS junk. #$%^&*%^&%^!@**!) A valid supposition, seeing as how many red-blooded (because, yes, English language, you can be otherwise) African males - males, generally - do you know who don't want children? (feel free to leave their numbers in the comments section)

Or, 2, I could find love at an old age when everyone has had kids and they're done with the brouhaha, then they realize they never really wanted them anyway (LOL). Which means till then, I will be going through a cycle of a, friends with benefits, b, intense self love, c, nothing at all (it's possible. I promise.) or d, relationships that I know are going nowhere but I get into them nonetheless because, as we have previously gathered, I am secretly masochistic.

So I'm giving it 20 years, during which I'll get rich, or at least feel rich because I'm spending all my money on myself, buy a cat, go on vacations and generally live the selfish life I am very much looking forward to. *puts on shades* *drives off into the sunset*



  1. Girl, i feel you! Im on the hunt for any man of the brown persuassion that isn't gonna automatically kick me to the curb for not wanting to give him babies lol. The thing that irritates me about men wanting kids is that most of them don't even have a good reason for wanting them in the first place other than tradition and continuing their family name (which are not good enough reasons to me)



  3. I was wondering when the cat aspect would come up in this post lol... #oldrichladysideffect
    and that's really true about the signature thing? what bollocks..
    #doublecosign to the first comment

  4. Hehehe wuothos into the sunset is more like it/chauffeured into the sunset;)

  5. I'm just going to sit back and watch you get pregnant in the next 10 years. And I won't even say, 'I told you so.' I'll be too excited that our perfect genes are passed forward.
    And what the fuck is a 'good reason' for wanting kids?

  6. Abba, a good reason is wanting them. Not tradition. Not someone must have my genes. And, also, eff you. It is folks like you... *breathes* It will not happen. Not this week, anyway.

    Bomba, IN FACT IN FACT! lol

  7. Exactly, that girls said wanting them is not a good reason, which is absurd.
    And I will not say, I told you so.' But just wait...

  8. I believe the young lady said tradition and continuing lineage are not good reasons... *goes back to read again*

  9. Mouth agape on that signature part! Say what?!

  10. I want 2 have kids but not a wife and have full custody of them, if its a r/ship then we'll not be under the same roof

  11. @nymmoh I know right.

    @dans So you want kids but you don't necessarily like them?

  12. No, i like kids, i want 2 have kids but i'll be a single dad, no wife