Thursday, July 11, 2013

The story behind depression

Hyperbole and a Half chick had it, and so do lots of people. This is one of my friends.

When did you realize you had depression? Did you think it was a legit thing before you had it?

I woke up in late April feeling like I wanted to just disappear, the previous night, I had been out partying but had to leave when I realized I had veered from the path I had set for myself, to never drink, to be honest with my feelings, being firm with my beliefs and here I was, drunk, clinging to a man who was obviously using me. I felt like shit. The next couple of week was terrible, couldn’t sleep, work stresses were upped by being made the head of my department. I was falling apart. As everyone marveled at my success, all I saw was shit, shit, shit, and it made me a miserable soul.

I spoke to my best friend, who recommended I speak to someone who knows me – someone who will not throw a pity party and I was referred to a therapist. My first time seeing her, she asked me to do a series of written tests and then we could talk. From the tests she was shocked by my stress levels, I was in a bad place and fuck it … I had gotten myself there by expecting too much from myself without actually LIVING … so far it’s been good. I have made peace with what I cannot change and what I can change, I’m working on it, I can sleep sometimes, sometimes I can’t and I just wake up and read through my favourites or just bug my friends with stupidity. Sometimes I just listen to music until I black out.

Did you tell people, like your other friends? How did they react?

I told my friends in phases, I first told my housemate and his girlfriend and they were very supportive and made sure I was not alone ever for a few weeks. They’d drag me to events even when I didn’t want to be there. They’d make sure I met new people, away from my circle of work-mates *which to some extent contributed to my lack of focus on my being*. The pressure to fit in my industry is crazy.

Other friends I told were shocked, we had candid conversations – which helped heaps, others told me to stop being crazy with white people diseases and go out more *sigh*.

Are there support groups? Who do you talk to?

I talk to my friends, I talk to my mum … although for her she just calls it STRESS … she prays a lot for me. She calls me at least once a day and sends me inspirational quotes. It’s good to know she is there for me, even when I break down in her presence, she assures me that all will be good.

Does God help? Is there a 'cure'?

I think prayer helps, there are days I wake up and I feel like I’m having a heart attack … my nervousness gives me palpitations and I ‘see’ death … I will pray hard for myself and will usually talk to my mum about it.

Is there a cure? I dunno … I think it’s something we outlive, once we are self assured that all is well, the world is not crumbling on us, your outlook on life starts to change, you enjoy it more … slowly

I’m known as a happy person. What have I learnt? Don’t be the happy depressed person. Show people your two sides, they will understand you. Don’t suffer in silence.


Monday, July 8, 2013


Aki they are already making a part 2 and I don't like part 1.

Yeah, I said it. I didn't like Man of Steel...I mean, I liked it, because it is a superhero movie, and I can't help but like those, but as superhero movies go...nah.

I liked Star Trek Into Darkness better. Yeah. It changed my life. Even The Internship was funny.

Man of Steel was the story of Jesus, basically, and much like the gospels, there wasn't a lot going on in the character development stages until he hit 33. Forget the Jesus aspect: Why was Superman going around telling Lois he could do things normal people can't do? Like it's hard to track him. Are you telling me the US GOVERNMENT can't find where Superman is from and an ALIEN SHIP LANDED IN HIS MOTHER'S BACKYARD? Ati we can't tell he is Superman coz he is in glasses (to be fair that's an old complaint, and it runs across most of my favourite superheroes. Like Batman. Seriously? See even in Green Lantern the chick was like, Jack? Or whatever his name was)?

All I saw from Superman was that he is Superman. Not why he does what he does (other than brainwashing. Well, he is supposedly Jesus). I didn't relate with his character AT ALL - he is a do-gooding alien. Great. Where is the passion? The deep parent issues (Batman)? The humour (Iron Man)? The humanity? - ati after destroying half a city, all of a sudden he cares about those four peeps about to be zapped by Zod...I felt like they just barely scraped the surface of who I understand to be Superman, probably because they had to insert a scene with him falling through space in the shape Jesus was when he died on the cross. I mean, I was more sympathetic towards his dad and General Zod and that BEAST CHICK who was fighting in the scene that looked like Thor.

I think I am biased against Superman because he is my least favourite superhero (aside from, maybe, Kickass.), and Christopher Nolan (who I can't stand) was involved in this debacle. Don't get me wrong. I loved the fight scenes, Amy Adams was much better (and prettier) than I thought she would be, the supporting cast were greeeeat, Henry Cavill has the lantern-jawed thing down pat, but... *shrugs*

I hope they bring Lex Luthor from Smallville in Man of Steel 2. It gets a 2 and a half.

Funny times! Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn reunite after Wedding Crashers to make a movie about two guys whose jobs have been deemed redundant by digital society. They are jobless and have to start doing jobs like shop assistants in their pervy brother-in-law's mattress shop until they have the bright idea to apply for an internship at Google.

You can pretty much predict the storyline. But, but, what saves it is that apart from being funnier than Identity Thief (lol) is that there are a lot of laugh-out-loud moments from beginning to end. Wilson and Vaughn are fun together. The supporting cast is fun. They tried to do too much - comedy, romance, teen movie, life-lesson-imparting flick - meaning there are a lot of just outright CHEESY TIRED cliches - but hey. They're cliches for a reason. Still funny. Gets a 3.

Let me just state here that Star Trek gets a 5. It LITERALLY changed my life (much like Avengers).

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto, and Zoe Saldana, who is going to be this generation's Comic Con fantasy, CLEARLY, battle villainry out on the Starship Enterprise in frequent blazes of glory. Chris Pine is excellent in this (he so was not in Unstoppable), and he is funny, and lovable in spite of his flaws (you know. Like humans. Unless you' know. Superman). Zachary Quinto is a perfect Spock (is ZQ ever not a perfect whatever he chooses to be? He's the gay one, right?) Everyone else is second to them except for Benedict Cumberbatch (as for who is simply amahZING as a villain. So good. So excellent! And as if those cool points weren't already a zillion, dude voices Smaug!!

'He portrayed Smaug the dragon through voice and motion capture and also provided the motion capture for the Necromancer in Peter Jackson's The Hobbit trilogy (2012).' (Wikipedia)

Oh, you want, like, a summary? Stars, advanced universe, bad guy, good guy goes after bad guy, but is bad guy bad guy? Stars, space, COOLNESS!



p.s. I really want to watch Epic.