Sunday, April 14, 2013

Film: Oz, Hansel and Gretel and The Lost Boys

Movie folk are out of things to make movies about. So they are going to oh,look! A fairy tale that has not been made yet/it's been made, but we'll do it better/flip the script! I liked Oz, because I like fairy tales, and I read Wicked (which I did not like, but I read because a flip is always fun). I liked James Franco; he played the part of a conman well, right down to his facial expressions, lack of scruples and weird, sleazy smile. It was pretty. Like Mila Kunis! Yaas! And who cannot like a movie with Zach Braff in it? The twists and lessons were fun too. But those baboons, yo. It gets a 3.

I should have written this immediately after I watched it, and I didn't. There is a key plot element I am missing here, but since this is not that spoiler kinda blog, we can live without it. This movie had Jeremy Renner, so of course I was going to watch it. I was a tad hesitant about the chick, but they made her look sufficiently badass. I think they made this movie just to make it though, like, oh, we want a boy, and a girl, and really gross looking witches, whoop! Legooo! And also proving my point of no movies left to make. (But those witches, yo.) This is a 2 and a half. Also...don't walk into houses made of candy. (whether this is a euphemism or not, I will leave you to decide)

And now, for our old movie of the week:

The Lost Boys.
'Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die.
It's fun to be a vampire.'

With a tagline that is way too long. Kiefer Sutherland ametoka mba? Ametoka mbali. This flick comprises of a bunch of boys who were the child stars of their time, like Kiefer, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman (who was implicated in the Michael Jackson dramas and so I automatically do not like) and Jason Patric (who ran away with one of his co-stars fiancees the day before the wedding. Or something). There is also a fun surprise appearance by Edward Shermann, the grandad in Gilmore Girls. Yup, his past was vampire movies (aki Jack Bauer...) I found the story weak and contrived, it took too long to get started, and don't get ME started on the special effects. To be fair, it is an old movie...and supposedly a classic...I don't see it. I was not sure if it was supposed to be a classic, or a classic comedy. The one saving grace is the kid who acts as Jason Patric's small bro; he was pretty funny, and pretty good. It gets a 2 from me.

That's all, folks!



  1. Yaani av been waiting for that OZ review in like forever, finally! now its been decided Its living room material, not imax material.....about Hansel and G....ah true! I agree!

  2. I recommend the original Fright Night.It's way better as quote unquote classic vampire flick. Corny as hell though, but much more fun, probably cause the producer din't try to turn it into a PR vehicle for 'hot young actors in the year [insert date no one remembers]'

    1. It was, wasn't it? But Jason Patric was hot...ain't no denying that ish, yo... *gets carried away*

      So, not the Colin Farell one, eh?

      I see you commenting on my blog posts and ish. I see you. :D