Monday, July 11, 2011

Paper-chasing pontifications

Depending on how this whole I'm-in-the-rat-race-now-and-I've-sold-my-soul-for-fiscal-security thing goes, this may or may not become a thing.

So irregardless of how absolutely gorgeous I am, it still shocks me when guys hit on me for no reason. I mean, obviously there's always a reason, but a lot of the time, I like it to be an obvious one. I don't, really. I don't know why I said that. I think I'm secretly a control freak and just like to know everything. That must be it. That must also be the reason why anonymous commenters annoy me. I like to look at your name, your profile, read your blog...can't do that when you're anonymous. *shrugs* Oh well. I suppose then I would be able to hunt you down as well, so I guess privacy and whatnot is a good thing.

So yes, the reason. Usually, there is one. Sometimes, the twins are making new friends. Or, we're the only people who don't know everyone at the party. Or, you're cute, so I go out of my way to say hello. Either way...there's usually a reason. But today...there was no reason. I'm in a jacket that covers everything between my chin and my pelvis in a thick non-curve showing layer. I had my don't-bother-me-I'm-reading-plus-you-stole-half-of-my-table-you-punk mug on. We weren't in a club/at a wedding/working a speed-dating event.

I left the office to go have lunch at The Place - you know, the one with the excellent sausages. Since I was alone, I left the office well-armed with my current literary preoccupation, A Closed Book by Gilbert Adair, generously lent to me by the (apparently generous) egregious @woozie_m (he isn't actually. I just wanted to use that word. Isn't it weird how it means both remarkably bad and extraordidarily good?)

It was pretty full. So I sat on the table I wanted that had four seats. Considering the popularity of the place, someone was bound to ask me to share. I hate sharing tables at restaurants. I mean. Dude. I'm sitting here alone for a reason. Clearly I do not desire company, unless I'm waiting for it, in which case there's no point in you asking to share. Then when there's a stranger sitting with you, there's an annoying pressure to make small talk or smile when your eyes meet, like some awkward blind date. I hate such things. Also, if I was doing something, say, scratching my toe, putting an evil plan for world domination into effect or reading a book while using half of the table, I can't do that anymore because of YOU. GRRR.

In spite of the slight anger expressed in the above paragraph, I still don't have enough steam to go on (usually) to stop someone from sitting at my empty tables. So this dude sits down. I pretty much ignore him in favour of Gilbert. When he's done with his meal, he begins to talk.

'That must be a pretty good book.'

I look up. 'Yeah.' Look back down.

'What's it about?'

My momma brought me up right. (I think. Ha.) If I meet a stranger, I don't talk to them. However,in some situations, I'm forced to be polite. Like this sharing table nonsense. Which could be prevented if I had just said I don't want to share a table. *sighs* I told him what the book is about. He then dragged me into a conversation with him, kicking and screaming, when he said 'I never read fiction.' I hold such people in incredulous surprise. I took the bait.

We talked for a bit. He told me what he does. Asked polite, intelligent I'm-a-good-listener questions. Kept his eyes well above what he must have approximated to be Twin Area. As did I, above Ring Area. I really should have looked (you would think I'd've learnt by now). Not that it matters, seeing as, you know, he's a stranger. He casually slipped me his card and asked for mine. (I want a card, damnit. In other news.) He gave me advice on life and careers...he's lived an interesting one, of course. Did I mention he probably has a child right around the age I don't like? (i.e. anywhere from 0-17) (Ok,15,because I like Justin Bieber. :D) He told me an interesting theory about how the less you pay for your scurity, the more likely your guards are to liaise with thieves to rob you. It made sense.

He waited for me to finish eating. The bill came. I paid my own. He didn't offer. Which means the speech to preserve my dignity that I had rapidly concocted in expectation went to waste. *sighs* He said, with a shy smile, that he wants to have lunch again. I said something vague in agreement and hope he didn't hear because I didn't mean to agree. We both got up. We walked. He shook my hand. I walked away.

He wasn't ati bad looking. And I didn't hate his shoes, which is usually one of the first signs that nothing is going to happen, thanks to @MuriMuriz.

I bet he's gonna call me. And has a criminal record or something disastrously wrong with his otherwise...nice persona.



  1. @tSN I bet you know what a lemon face is, it works wonders when shushing unwanted talk/company...

  2. Awww...sorry for scaring you :) I think I have commented as anonymous before once or twice before ... no need to stalk or follow me since you already know who I am :D [also known as lorna]

  3. And i agree...dont like how egregious means both bad n good...confusing word it is

  4. You like Justin Bieber :( *sigh* I guess nobody is perfect even fabulous Abby! You redeemed yourself with the shoe statement. A man's shoes are totally make or break!!

  5. I stopped at the Bieber statement... You cannot recover from that.

  6. Queen of digressing, how do you manage to remember your train of thought?
    There was a reason, a woman who reads... so much so she doesn't notice guy who wasn't ati bad looking eating across from her!

    P.S. the anonymous thing. I do it too. Privacy and what-not reasons. hehehe

  7. Hmmmm.........he had you at 'hello'.....


  8. nice writing wonder how come i haven't stumbled across your blog before then. as for making small talk with people on a table, i simply ignore the stranger, i'm good at that.

  9. He has never read fiction, I'm sorry what? NEVER? Not even set books in high school, or someone's composition, no one has never read fiction.

    One more thing, ergigous? Why I never! *looks for dictionary*

  10. After the Justin Beiber (seriously?) Statement ....I couldn't breathe.

  11. @victor Clearly I'm bad at it lol

    @Achi Lol. hi Achi. :o) I knew it was you, you're still the only Achi I know. :o)

    @Akoth Why don't you like JB? :o)

    @theBNguy you KNOW you didn't. You KNOW you read it till the end. Lol.

    @lizdin :o) It's a talent. And that's what I thought, must've been the book...maybe I'm cuter than I think. HA. :o)

    @Af_oak He totally didn't! I had no choice. :o)

    @pitz But then I feel rude.:o( Welcome. :o)

    @Michael Right???!! Egregious, sweetie. Egregious.

    @Noelle Oh come one. Give the boy a chance. :o)

  12. Well apparently I am quite a bitch because when a man (30 years my senior) hit on me, I gave him such a death glare that he actually apologized and scurried away

  13. So at least you were nice :)

  14. @Chelsey scurried?? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  15. GOSH. He doesn't read fiction? I'm appalled. Though... you had a proper conversation with him, which doesn't often happen with strangers. I SAY, if he calls, do lunch again. Everyone you now know and love was once a stranger.

    (If you two get married you owe me your firstborn.)

  16. True.

    We're not getting married. Ew. lol. And we owe you our firstborn? Like a cultic sacrifice/Rumpelstilskin vibes? *side-eye*

  17. Wait, digits happened? Children??? If you call any of them JB, you know I'll be decidedly horrible to the child?! You know that right... take this as your disclaimer if you didn't. I forgot what I was going to uuummmm...

  18. BECAUSE I HAD TO!!!! DM. JB. :o) :o) :o) I can name my baby, baby, baby oooooh... :D

  19. firstly, tres cool blog!! ridiculously awesome :)

    secondly..i don't know why this last post reminded me of the first time i ever talked to you...perhaps you remember it to, shit scared highschool girl asking you to sneak in a preggers test for her...ring a bell? lol (it turned out negative btw)

    thirdly..did i say this is a neat blog yet?! :)


  20. OMG!!! Look how I have been found. lol. Course I remember you. Welcome to the world of wonderfulness that is my ego much...YES. :o) Wow. Wow! Awesome. :o) :o)

  21. Eh nyako, as someone said, its amazing how you can actually recall your train of thought...

    Sharing tables IS awkward. Rather avoid the whole situation by sitting at a two-seater. Because if you are at a four-seater by yourself, you're kinda asking for it.

    I dare you 2 have lunch with him again. But carry pepper spray, lest you be used for ritual sacrifice...

  22. Finally caught up with like all of your blogs and stuff. I feel you on that "only few places make nice sausages" thing. Nice piece as always. Made me laugh.

  23. @Le Grand :o) I am asking for it. I'm not having lunch with him again. He hasn't called...

    @IJST Yay! Catch up. :o) We should share food notes. Just found an awesome joint for chicken burgers. :D