Film Review: Avengers *SQUEALS*

I am a seal.

I just watched Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

Words cannot begin to explain.

And yet I am still going to write an entire blogpost.

I will not put any spoilers, but I will say you MUST go watch this movie. This is the BEST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN THIS YEAR. (funny, one of the best ones I saw last year also had Robert Downey Jr. in it – Sherlock Holmes 2: Game of Shadows.

I got into the theatre expecting to be disappointed (because for me nothing compares to Batman) but now I am scared for The Dark Knight Rises because Chris Nolan had BETTER have something fantastic up his sleeve, because,…ai yawa. For me, Marvel has really brought the heat, and this is saying a lot, because I am very definitively a DC kinda girl.

The only disappointing thing about this experience was the bathrooms. IMAX locks their loos so people who are considered randoms cannot get inside. They even have – get this – security locks with codes on them. Yeah. YEAH.

IMAX glasses are bearable (it was my first IMAX experience) although mine kept clouding, first because I thought they were dirty and then because I kept crying. Yes. Crying. I cried THREE TIMES. Twice from the sheer JOY of being in this cinema to watch that masterpiece. I have discovered that I am a seal and a child, as I kept clapping and exclaiming. Yes, I am that person. It was indescribable, people. I left wanting to be a hero. Cape and soundtrack and superheroey friends and everything. The whole shebang. The great caboose. (No?) The conductor was trying to pull some sh* on other people, I kept thinking I WISH a n* would try that stuff on me. Aki this movie is transcendent! It made me reconsider my life choices and sh*. IT MADE ME CRY! And LAUGH. And SQUEAL. And my legs were shaking after the movie, as if…well, you know. Seriously. It is that good. If I had appendages that could increase in length after excitement…if I could write a movie like that! They must have spent a FORTUNE on sets (I read the budget was 220 million, and the teaser/trailer broke the record for most downloaded trailer on ITunes Movie Trailer somethings) and…just…a fortune. Ok, I will later do a post on everything I loved about this movie, when I am sure you have all watched it. Ok, most of you…I love that everyone was focused on. That is ALL I am saying!!

I really liked this movie. Everything about it. The acting was on point. The villains were on point. The script, the keeping to the actors’ voices…on point (scriptwriters notice such things). The delivery/execution, the effects (I didn’t care much for the soundtrack, because I really was not listening, but if it was awful, I would have noticed). The screen was HUGE! I felt the sound through my feet. Dude. But making a good movie takes so much, though. Production is kind of a b*…you can have a great script but crap editors (some Kenyan tv), or a great actor but crap music (soaps and/or Nigerian flicks), or crap story but great actors (Jumping the Broom) or cliché storyline with cliché bad actors (Death Race)…I could go on and on…

I think humans are so amazing! For thinking up such things. I DESPERATELY want to be Iron Man (at some point in the movie I was thinking of revisiting my childhood dream of doing a degree in Mathematics so I could be a genius and make things like that). Also, I must start reading more comic books. Anyone?

Go. Go now. Take your friends. Start a campaign. I’ll contribute 20 bob to your cause, I swear. I hope you like it. :D You will probs meet me there, because I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo seeing it again.

It gets about a 47 out of 10.

tSN

p.s. I will review The Lorax and Hotel Clarion in the next post. I was supposed to, but Avengers moved me. What can I say.

Good eats

You may not get to the end of this post to get to what was supposed to be the p.s., so,

MY FRIEND IS MAKING A MOVIE!!

@twezlie and her folk are making a Kenyan movie with a Kenyan story, and...here's your chance to get in on the Kenyan funding. Lol. Even if you don't contribute, check out the link, tell your friends. Support the Arts. :o) >>>>>>>> http://www.indiegogo.com/Spilled (I've tried to link it, but it's refusing, so copy paste it, aight?)

If you are anything like me, (which really, you should be. The world needs more mes. HAHAHA) you spend most of your money on food. That being said, I will share with you my list of favourite places to eat in town, or not, or their specialities...or not...or maybe not even town...um. I think I will start with my least favourite. Ok maybe I won't. The last one is my favourite, though. Also, I pick town, because it is central to most people. Yes?

Also, this is gonna go on for a bit. *disclaimer*

1. The Mug. (across the road from Lornho House, the back entrance to Pasara, right next to the back entrance for 20th)

Aaaah, they used to have the BEST penne pasta in town. ( I say in Town because we are not talking about Mediterrano, outside town. Yes?) Also, I am soooo not a cake person, but their cakes, I would break a diet for. A friend of mine says they have too much butter, but this isn't her blog, is it.) Their lemonade and burgers were also ON IT. And there are very few burgers I like in this our town. (Even the Sierra burger I was like...meh. It wasn't FANTASTIC. And...dare I say it?...Almost...too much meat. Closes parentheses)

Alas, I will never go to the Mug anymore,more,more. It has skinny sulky waitresses at the door, door, door, who do not smile when they serve you and leave before you finish your order. ALso, they increased their prices by 100% in the space of a week (one week, the penne ws 450, the next it was 780. That's 100%. Right?)

2. Savanna. (Loita Street)

Someone needs to tell these people that their prices do NOT correlate with their food. Today was the first time in many that I can remember going to Savanna and having good service. I had the Mexican Chicken sandwich (which was actually pretty good, but as I left, I met someone telling me their food is awful. I was afraid. Very afraid.) In fact, the only thing I can be sure of in this place are thier mocktails. Big Pants to bespecific. And, they make them differently in each Savanna. Erm...wtf??

3. Rayan Restaurant. (across from the back entrance of Gilfillan House next to I&M)

Ah, the diamond in the rough. dude greets you as you walk in. Service is quick, efficient and with a smile. All the food that I have had there, I like. The catch is, you will wait for it for an hour. I kid you not. But, but, but, they tell you that you will wait (unlike The Mug, which shall no longer be patronised). I like it. (and everyone with me seemed to like those milkshake ice cream cocktail juice thingies that are, like, juices, some green ones, topped with a scoop of ice cream. I couldn't do it.)

4. Gari Restaurant. (Kenyatta Avenue next to the Bata)

:o) I like Gari. It is simple, always has seating space, and not because it is unpopular. The service has never really been awful, and the food comes quickly enough (and in large enough portions) that you forget. (which reminds me. When you order a meal at Rayan, the place in number four, I recommend you split it with someone else. No one at the table finished their meal alone. You order one chicken meal it looks like 4 chicken met their death that day. I swear it on their sumptuous chicken teriyaki.) Their mashed potatoes SUCK BALLS, though, but the manager is oh so nice, and takes criticism, oh so well. It's a yes for me.

5. Chicking. (next to Bruce House across from that Babylon Casino thing)

I don't go here anymore either. The seats and big screen tellys and aircon are timam, though.

Chicking, when I used to love youuuu...it was 350 for a chicken burger, a soda and fries. I went through the fire for you...and now your prices are hiked. 600 for the same thing now, how do you expect this to work. How? I realize that I just don't love you...not like I used to.

6. Dormans. (the one across from the Java on Mama Ngina Street)

I NEVER go here anymore.I only used to go here for their exceptional milkshakes (which I still think are theee best) but then they hiked their prices (by kedo 20 bab :D) and it was easier to go somewhere else for the same thing although a fraction less tastier BUT in a bigger (I AM Kenyan) glass (coughJavacough). I hate thier food. I don't like the decor. I'm not a coffee person (this would count, because apparently their coffee is superior), so...basically, there is no reason to go to Dormans. For me. I mean the service is ok, burram...cannibalism is illegal, so...

7. Ankara. (on General Kago Street across from City Hall

Went there once for their cheap pizza offer. Cheap pizza is what you get. It was very edible, though, so I went back. They raised their prices (wow. For a blessed genius I sure am wallet driven. *shrugs* Sue me.) and i was like shiiiii. Your pizza ain't thaaaat good. *moves on swiftly*

8. Debonairs. (the one on Ngong Road next to Uchumi)

Their pizza IS that good. I once went on a Twitter rampage because of some false advertising they did (it's in a post on this thing somewhere) and they sent me a free one. Awwww. :o) I really like their pizza, but I always order in because I have no odea about anything else, so. In fact, their pizza is only second to Hong's Pizza (which is next to Yaya, so is disqualified from this list, but dude. I love watching the chef make your food. And it's chill, and a ka-nice spot for a quick pint...ok, ok, I digress)

9. Steers. (the one on Wabera Street)

Crap ice cream (which used to be good when they had that 40 bob offer on Sundays, remember? Ooooh, like Harvest Pizza. Love their ice cream, haven't had their pizza in a minute). Mediocre food and service. Mediocre decor. They should change their name to...yup, you guessed it.

Should I cut this post short? Can't...seem...to stop...typing...really...like...food...

10. Sherlock's. (the one at Nakumatt Lifestyle and at Nakumatt Prestige)

Used to have THE BEST masala chips. They don't now. Didn't like their food at all back in the day, but the other day I had a burger, and it was aight. You get your money's worth. And NO MORE NO LESS lol. There are...a LOT of teenagers about on Friday nights, so watch your eating times...

11. Java. (any. my favourite is the one on Koinange Street. The one at Mama Ngina doesn't have fries, it has homefries. Um.)

Anytime. Anywhere. I will be the first to admit, I am a Java girl through and through. Their milkshakes. Their burgers. Their garlic bread. Their croissants. The chocolate chip cookie sundae that no one I know can finish by themselves. Not the same day, anyway, lol. (Their specials menu usually sucks though. I had the Java Special Curry, and I can't cook for sh**, but I could have made it at home. It tasted that bad. LOL.) Kwanza sometimes when they have the raspberry milkshake yawa! Soooo nyummy. My favourite place to eat, because the prices are ok (although they just did a 50 bob hike on each meal, which, I mean, is the way to go about it, unlike...) and I like the food. I have heard a lot of complaints about it though, people get sick a lot. Apparently. Oh wait, that HAS happened to me once before...hm. Still going back. Also, the service can be sketchy. Depends on which Java you're at (*whispers* and how many white people come to it). I usually just target my usual waitstaff (HA! Bourgeois, much? Incidentally, that word used to mean working class folk. I read Philip Ochieng. Utajuaje?). Also...yes, he is a paedophile...which is wrong...everyone has flaws? There is no little or big sin? I still love me some Michael? Whichever defense (or none at all) works for you.

tSN

p.s. So. Imax is 500 from Monday to Thursday if you have a students ID. *thinks of underage friends*

p.s. A lassie on Twitter asked me about Greenview. There's a post on this blog where I talk about my feelings about Greenview. Go to the search nini. :o)

Things bothering me about this my world.

I heartily approve of women defending themselves. I sleep with a knife next to my bed (inspired by @chichikimani,who carries a blunt knife in her bag, because wounds from blunt knives heal slower. *shivers*) and a lighter next to the knife, and a Doom can next to the lighter. Be very sure. As @aprettygirlblog once said, it makes no sense to have to fight so hard for something that is YOURS that someone is trying to take from you (but I paraphrase). Because let's be fair, the odds are unfair. Stacked, is the word I'm looking for. Hence, the knife, etc.

The other day, I sent my boy to buy me mace because I felt it was time to take this a notch higher. Yes, I could just take karate lessons, but I am lazy above most else, so mace seemed like the next best thing. Apparently, one cannot buy mace in other countries without sijui a letter from the government. Even in that country. Someone needs to tell me what the big deal is...because now I have to take karate lessons. Or start carrying the Doom next to my bed in my bag.

Things that bother me, number 1. Number 2: My old high school has started having classes every day till 5:30. Every day. AND. Get this. On Saturdays from 8 to 4. (which is really making me wonder how the Adventists are coping.) (Which could possibly lead into another debate about how high schools are about equality and everyone is supposed to be equal hence the point of the uniform, and no one should get special treatement, but that's bullshit. No one is equal anymore. My uniform may be uniform, but it may be newer than yours. You might carry more grub than me. I may be better at academics. I may have asthma and have to sit out on jogging and cross country etc. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS EQUALITY, except in death. So if death is the great equalizer, nay, the ONLY equalizer...you should let me go to church when I feel I need to go to church. And let Wakorinos (sp) wear their turbans. And vegetarians should get a special diet. Yes, I just lumped religion, disease and death into one pretty little package. WOW, but I digress.)

It gets worse. They ALSO have class on Sundays. After chapel. From 1 to 4.

Who the hell thinks this stuff up? I would die if I went to a high schol like that. Die inside. I already felt like I was dying inside when I was THERE, damnit. What happened to childhood? (Answer: 8-4-4 happened to childhood. *insert choice lyrical eye-watering expletives*) Like being in class all the damn time guarantees an A. Like I won't go mad, and/or shut down completely (like when I was reading A Million Little Pieces during KCSE. Nah, that wasn't a shut down. I really wanted to read it, ha. So sad that it was so good but not true! Not sadder than Oprah though, ha.), because it DOES get to that point where you just...won't, anymore.

Education ruins children. I'm not having any for it to ruin. (Ha! I jest. There are just SO MANY MORE reasons. Lol.) Either you like books, or you don't. Either you're good at it...or you're not. Like teachers care to find out anymore! Ok, let me rephrase that. Many do not. Many want the grade, and who cares about the essence of the child getting it. Aaaah, so many things wrong with our system. I think I must stop now.

tSN

p.s. Passed by the Imax cinema. It's a k a movie. Not bad, I suppose. Waiting for Batman or the Avengers, because I really do not care about the Wrath of the Titans. Right?